Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
