HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Randomize
