Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
He felt like a one man threesome
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Randomize
