My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
