According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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