god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Randomize
