Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Randomize