you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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