I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
i will never coherently bang her
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
A+ Viking dick
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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