Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
