what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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