We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
