Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
it hurts more in the daytime
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Oh god it's open bar.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Randomize