just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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