yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize