I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
