As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
