It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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