Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
