I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
