would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
