I'm really into asian looking animals
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize