we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize