I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
