I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Ketchup is God's man juice
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
