Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
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