my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize