Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
