i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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