this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
