The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
She needs sedatives and a leash
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize