I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
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