my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
