I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
