epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
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