I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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