Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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