found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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