Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize