I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
