In the future we'll all be gay
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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