I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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