Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Randomize
