i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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