Walk of Shame. In a state park.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
