chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
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I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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