Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Randomize
