How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
