She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I'm just crazy horny about you
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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