I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Randomize
