he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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