Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
