3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
