garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
