no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
i already hear my dad disowning me
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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