I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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