I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
