Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
