I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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