is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
