Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
third nipple confirmed
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
