Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
