I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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