Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
