She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Oh god it's open bar.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
